How many times have you felt the great elation of being about to sign up a fantastic new client, only to find they change their mind? The one new client isn’t a major issue, but how do you deal with the feeling inside that doesn’t go away for days on end? Here are six tips on how to rebuild your confidence when that happens.

How to rebuild confidence after not getting that new client

Back to the ski slopes

The joy and exhilaration of having nearly made the best, longest and fastest ever ski run, evaporated into thin air at the last moment and turned into exasperation as I fell at the last moment. Worse than the pain was the loss of confidence that ruined the rest of what could have been a perfect day on the sunny slopes of the Alps.

Initially as I fell I lay in the snow, in complete confusion, I wasn’t quite sure what happened. Then I slowly began to realise that I’d fallen, I hurt and my equipment was scattered over about 20 metres. How was I going to get it back, then even worse I realised I needed to ski down the rest of the slope.

I shakily got up, and gingerly got down the slope, no longer sure  I ought to be doing this. No longer sure my body wanted to, yet I had to. The words of my ski instructor echoed in my head,

you must do it with confidence, or it goes wrong”

This seemed to be a time when it was going to go wrong again. At the bottom, I sat and had a very long hot chocolate while I waited for my friends to find me.

Maybe you don’t ski (or you don’t fall over if you do); maybe there’s a similar experience in another sport you’ve done in the past? What would your words have been to me? What would you say after telling me “how to rebuild your confidence”?

How about in your firm?

You don’t normally get excited about new clients, but this one? This was THE new client, one of the new dream clients that your ABC strategy needed and it was really exciting. Until at the last moment she changed her mind.

One client won’t break the books, but the damaging thing (like me on the ski slope) is the damage to your confidence. Here you are with the rest of the week to get through, networking meetings to attend and other clients to deal with (as well as sign up) – but you’re feeling mentally bruised and fragile.

“you must do it with confidence, or it goes wrong”

How to rebuild your confidence

Firstly I’d like you to adapt what you would have told me on the ski slope, it’s likely to be very good advice as you think about how to rebuild your confidence. But here’s another 6 ideas

  1. Affirmation and testimonial. One reason testimonials are so good in your practice is that good ones can help you! In the words of your clients, remember how good you are.
  2. Take some small steps first. Plan a day where there are a few things you know you can do, so that you start to feel better (does that sound like my next move on the ski slope?)
  3. Body language. Maybe you think this is a bit hippie, but there’s science, research and even a TedTalk to go with it. We can change how we feel about ourselves and how others perceive us by changing our body language. Standing/ sitting tall and adopting body positions that assume confidence help you to begin to think and feel more confident. We have a 6 page booklet on body language, it's free and waiting for you to download right nowClick here for instant access (email address required).
  4. Review your successes. So this once it didn’t work. Spend a few minutes thinking about the other times you have got new clients to sign up.
  5. Discuss it with your business coach. Talking to a professional business coach can help you change the focus to the future. They will help you learn from the situation, without dwelling on it.
  6. Send them a nice email and then keep in touch. OK, so it didn’t work out this time. No doesn’t mean never! Thank them for their time, and then ensure you keep in touch for another time.

I hope that you win every great piece of business you really go for, but if not – what helped you get over it?

Written by Jon Baker The 5-50 Coach. I help professionals grow their firms from 5 to 50 employees, sustainably, profitably and still have fun. Have you got your "next step kitbag yet"? It's stuffed with guides, reports & templates helping you grow from 5 to 50 employees Click here for immediate access